Another New Year...

I loved 2010. It was one of the most enjoyable years I've had in a very long time. So many good things, almost no bad, it was a blast. This year I've

Taken 2 more bands off my "see before I die" list
Seen 8 bands live
Added another new country to my "traveled to" list
Reconnected with a friend I haven't seen in 15 years
Reconnected with a friend I haven't seen in 16 years
Discovered where my family came from and who we really are
Quit my job
Started sewing
Found and met my brother
Had a great birthday in Jamaica
Spent a crazy weekend in Austin with some of my favorite girls
Spent two weeks with my English family whom I adore
Fell in love with my husband and children all over again
Started a blog
Had a great holiday season
Met my new year resolution
Realized who my closest friends are and spent as much time as possible with them

And that is just the short list. So much more actually happened that added to the greatness that was 2010. But most importantly, I am happier with who and where I am in my life than ever before! If 2011 is even half as great as 2010 I'll be a very very lucky girl!

Dude

I love the word dude. Not sure if it is because I watched "Fasttimes at Ridgemont High" once to often or if the word dude came into the world's vernacular during an influential time of my life, the 80's. The reason I mention it is because the word dude is now being used quite regularly by my daughter. "The Dudes" are her guy friends at school. "DUDE!" is as close to a swear word as she will used when angry at her brother. "Aww dude..." is for the dogs when they annoy her or have chewed on her favorite shoe. "The Fish Dude" is the largest of the four fish in her tank. "The Scooter Dudes" are our friends whom my husband works on scooters with. For her, Dude is the chosen word for a multitude of purposes. Strangely, due to her constant usage, I have started using the word more often too. I've always loved the word but as I grew older it wasn't used as much. Now I find myself using dude almost everyday. Sadly, though, I'm afraid it might make me look a tad stupid.

I have volunteered to work at my son's high school concession stand during basketball games. The band boosters run it and get all the profits. I feel its my duty to help out. There are usually 5-6 other parents working at a time. As I was working last night I accidentally spilled a bag of popcorn on the floor. As I did this I said "DUDE!" and started laughing at my own clumsiness. As I looked around for the broom, two of the Mom's were staring at me. Looking down her nose at me, one of them said "Dude? What are you a skater kid?" A. No, but whats wrong with skater kids and B. Shut the F up. No I didn't say those things but I wish I would have. Apparently when a cute 12 yr old girl says dude, its adorable but when her 38 yr old mother says it...not so much.

So I guess I have a choice. I can stop saying dude and replace it with 'gosh darn' or something equally vanilla which fits my personality so well (not) or I can just ignore snotty parents who've forgotten all humor in their lives. I opt for the latter.

ps...I also love the words persnickety, cantankerous and snollygoster. I plan on using those as frequently as possible from now on too. :-)

Whats the big deal?

I know I might be starting a firestorm, but something has been on my mind the last few weeks and I really feel I need to address it.

Merry Christmas VS Happy Holidays

To most of my friends and family this isn't an issue but it seems to be creeping into my life almost daily lately and its bugging the hell outta me. The media, facebook, emails, people in stores-everyone seems to be getting their panties in a bunch about how and what we call the holidays. To me, it's a stupid debate.

There is a time of year that has a lot of holidays. Late fall to early winter has 5-7 major holidays with a few more thrown in depending on your culture or religious preference. This, obviously, is a season of holidays...hence the term holiday season. For some reason this offends a large part of our country (Yes, just ours. The rest of the world could care less) and now has started a campaign to make everyone feel guilty if you say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. But why? If I said "Happy Halloween" on Thanksgiving Day, I would be looked at like I'm insane. Its not Halloween and so why would I say it? If I said "Happy Chinese New Year" on the first day of Hanukkah I'm pretty sure I'd get at least a few 'WTF' looks. Here is my point. On Christmas Day I say "Merry Christmas". On the first day of Hanukkah I say "Happy Hanukkah". On Thanksgiving I say "Happy Thanksgiving". But all the days in between I say "Happy Holidays". I hope that all of your holidays during the holiday season are happy. From Halloween to New Years Day...I hope your holidays are joyful. To me that is logical.

Ok lets look at it from a different perspective. I'm one of those gals who believes that everyone should be treated with kindness. Unless you've done something to be personally that makes me think you should be thrown in the middle of 10 tigers wearing a raw rump roast covered in bbq sauce, I believe you deserve as much love and respect as the next person. So unless I know you are a Christian, I'm not going to say Merry Christmas to you on any other day than Christmas. So, logically, of course it would be appropriate for Happy Holidays to be commonly used in public. Its an inclusive greeting instead excluding a large portion of people. Why is that wrong? Even if you believe the entire season is all about Jesus and celebrating his birth, try to remember what his teachings were about. Loving everyone. If he could see the way his name is being used to exclude people...well lets just say I think the magnet on my fridge says it best "Jesus would slap the shit outta you."

All I'm asking is please take a moment and think about what the season is all about. Family, friends, love, giving, happiness. How about instead of the slogan "Keep Christ in Christmas" how about we change it to "Keep Politics out of the Holidays".

Love

I love the Etrade commercials. LOVE them! I never tire of the babies telling me they went to Vegas or that riding your dog like a horse is "FROWNED UPON IN THIS ESTABLISHMENT". They make me laugh. Hard. Every time I see them. I also love the TV show Minute To Win It. Those games are much harder than you think and are fun to do. I love Harry Potter...but you already knew that. I love coffee, Guitar Hero, the color red and handbags. I love my family and that I have a dog named Kevin. I love my fish tank, my car and polka dots. I love Lip Smackers, bread and pedicures. I love drinks with friends, sushi and painting walls. I love books, getting my hair done, live music, genealogy, and holiday lights. I love Pho', Prada, pictures and Prince. I love travel, my house and my gal pals. I love St Patricks Day, art museums, diamonds and massages.

I love a lot of things. I also don't love a lot of things. However this is the time of year to focus on what you love and not what you hate. There is no place for them during the Holiday Season. Love the people and things you love, forget and let go of the things you don't.

Purple Velvet Frog

Contrary to what the weather thinks, it's the Holiday Season. Thanksgiving is right around the corner and soon Christmas upon us. This year has me a bit stressed for a couple of reasons. One, this is the first year we are on a tight budget for the holidays and two, I have family coming for the holidays. My family doesn't stress me out in a bad way, just the "really want them to have fun and enjoy themselves" way. The budget on the other hand....ugh. With my son's birthday being a few days before Christmas and our anniversary being a few days after it has always been an expensive time of year. Truly though we have never worried to much about it because between our two jobs we were able to spend what we wanted. This year, with one less job, that isn't so much the case. I've been looking into more personal, less materialistic gifts trying to find something people might really want or need instead of "this will work, don't care how much it is". I've been stressed however about what people, mostly my kiddos, will think when their gifts obviously aren't as expensive as they have been in the past. And yes, they will notice - they are 12 and almost 17. But then I was reminded of something....

Growing up we didn't have much money. And by not much I mean none. One Christmas was particularly lean and my Mother kept saying "don't expect much". The age I was at the time, I didn't really register what that meant and thought I'd only get two or three gifts instead of 5. Christmas morning came and we had stockings like always and my sister and I each had a couple of gifts. One of my gifts was a very large purple velvet frog. My Mother had made it out of some scraps of fabric she had found and an old pillow. I LOVED IT! Not just a little bit, I loved it A LOT! That frog lived on my bed until, when I was 15, our new puppy decided to use it as a chew toy and it had to be thrown away as it was completely ruined. I was heartbroken. I've always remembered that Christmas very clearly because it was such a great present.

As that story was brought back to my mind I let some of the stress go about my kids and Christmas. My extended family won't care if I spend a little less on them this year and honestly, I don't think my kids will either. They are old enough to understand economics and if I try really hard to find things they love...that is all that will matter. Now I'm off to find my kids their very own "Purple Velvet Frog".

Soapbox

Today is Election Day. A day when we can change our government to better serve us. Right. If you believe that I have a bridge to sell you. What today really should be called is "$300 Million down the drain" Day, or "I'll tell you whatever you want to hear" Day. Yeah today makes me a little grumpy.

I used to be a political junky. Election days were my Superbowl Sundays. I watched all the news channels endlessly to listen to the most up to date information and evaluations. I LOVED IT! Oh how silly and naive I was. Sadly what I learned during the Bush administration was that all politicians are liars. Oh not just Republicans...ALL of them! Repubs, Demos, Indi's are all made from the same cloth. The politician cloth. They spend millions on research to find out exactly what people want to hear and then spend millions more getting "their" word out. They don't care about you or your views. They care about power and money. Perfect example: Kevin Yoder is running for office in Kansas. Kevin Yoder is a republican. Kevin Yoder was first a democrat and when asked why he changed parties he said "Democrats can't win in Kansas". Not that he'd changed his views or grown into a different person with age and felt the repub party fit him better. Oh no, Democrats can't win in Kansas. Way to learn how to play the game Kevin.

Now I don't think all politicians start out this way. I do feel that some, on a smaller local level, really do feel like they want to make a change. That they can do some good. However the further up the chain you go, the less you find this attitude. Why is that, you may ask. Well, let me just tell you. You know how those stupid girls in Hollywood soon discover the more tabloid magazines your face is in, the more popular you get? Same concept for politicians. As they move up the food chain of politics they soon discover that Washington is just a game to be played. You scratch my back, I'll give you money. You vote for my lobby, I'll help you get the bigger office on capitol hill. Favors, money, power are all passed around like Halloween candy and it has destroyed our government.

So what is my solution other than starting a revolution? I've had an idea that I wish, somehow some way, would happen. I call it Citizen Review Commission. I think there should be a new section of government, made up of ordinary American citizens that review and either approve or deny all governmental bills/laws/taxes etc. They wouldn't be elected, instead using a lottery much like the our jury system. Mandatory attendance, jobs not allowed to refuse to let you go, exceptions following the same lines as jury duty, 1 year terms, small salary...you get the idea. Here's the kicker. All information sent to the CRC has to have NO NAMES OR PARTY AFFILIATION anywhere on it. You vote on the information without any outside influences. Call me crazy but I think it could work. You may not agree but you have to admit, what we have doesn't work and at least I'm trying to find a way to fix it. I know I know, I've thought way to much about this but if you have an idea I would love to hear it. Seriously! I think its time for some brainstorming.

Something has to give and soon. The blame game is exhausting, the money being spent on campaigns is insane and I'm sick of the bullsh*t. I mean do you have ANY idea what $300 million (the amount spent on campaigns this election) could do? Feed hungry children, health clinics, police officers, fire departments, education-it infuriates me. The current state of our country isn't Obama's fault nor Bush's. It is years of money ruling the roost and no one standing up against it. Its the fact that most Americans would rather fight about a cause than do something to further it.

I promise all of you I won't speak of politics in my blog ever again. I'm putting my soapbox away for good.

Leaves...

"How silently they tumble down
And come to rest upon the ground
To lay a carpet, rich and rare,
Beneath the trees without a care,
Content to sleep, their work well done,
Colors gleaming in the sun.

At other times, they wildly fly
Until they nearly reach the sky.
Twisting, turning through the air
Till all the trees stand stark and bare.
Exhausted, drop to earth below
To wait, like children, for the snow."
- Elsie N. Brady, Leaves

I made a bag.

I've officially been off work for 5 months now. A busy, over scheduled, fantastically wonderful 5 months. I've not been this calm in a long time. I'm busy with things I want to do now instead of cramming everything into the couple of days off I had. I'm busy with fun activities, parent activities, lunches with pals, doula clients, and a long laundry list of things I actually like to do. And, even after all of that, I still have a bit of spare time.

Because of the change in our budget situation I had been looking for ways to save money or at least cut back a bit. When my darling friend McKenna's baby shower came along I decided I'd make her a blanket. So I drug out my sewing machine, which had not seen the light of day in many many many years, and started sewing. I had made a blanket for my daughter when she was just a few weeks old and it became "the blanket". It was the that was toted around until she was almost 6 yrs old. I knew I could trust myself to sew a straight line and know it would hold up over time. After making McKenna's blanket I had some fabric left over so I made a bunch of burp cloths too. It was fun. Can't say they were perfect in anyway but I had a good time making them.

I decided to see what else I could make since there are a million free patterns online. I found a simple bag pattern that I thought I'd try. Low and behold, it worked. I made a bag. Look for yourself. It even has a cute little lining....






Now I know its not a Kate Spade bag or anything, but after making it I realized a bunch of different ways I could change it up, add pockets, etc. What I realized most, however, was that I was kinda proud of myself. Crazy little pat on the back. Maybe quitting my job was the perfect way to find my inner Martha Stewart.

Tetris was the key

I've blogged before about my son's college challenges. How he had no real interest in going other than he knows he should and can't see any fun in it at all. Well last friday, that all changed. He came home from school and was dying to show me something on youtube. It was a video his band instructor had shown him that day.

Marching band isn't going so well this year. This is the first year in a long time they have had to let the Freshman march because of low numbers in certain instruments. A few months into the season they are having a hard time getting it perfect. Mrs Watzke then found this video on youtube and showed it to the kids to get them to realize how important lines and being exact were. What Mrs Watzke didn't know is she inspired my son. He is now DYING to go to college. Here is the video.



If you're not a video game fan, the band is doing theme songs from different video games. But what got Hayden was the side bar next to the video on youtube. This marching band does great shows. Hip Hop, video games, Michael Jackson, Green Day...you name it, they've covered it. He was fascinated. He kept saying "Watch this part" and "Look at that!" After we spent an hour watching their shows, he looked at me and said "I had no idea college marching would be fun like that."

College night is this wednesday at Hayden's high school. He has picked up the map of where everyone will be located, picked out the schools he likes, looked to see if they have marching programs and numbered them in order of importance to him. Talk about a 180 degree turn. Honestly though, if a California marching band is what it takes to get him excited, so be it. I'm just thrilled he finally gets it.

Writing, not just for breakfast anymore...

I've been doing a lot of thinking about books and authors lately. Anyone who knows me understands that books are a huge part of my life. I remember becoming lost in books as early as 2nd and 3rd grade, so saying I love to read is an overwhelming understatement. It seems over the last month or two I've been paying particular attention to authors. I was lucky enough to meet Diana Gabaldon (which I've learned I've been saying her last name wrong-she's Spanish not Irish so its pronounced Gab-al-don as in stone) and watched numerous interviews with JK Rowling. Now I know many of you rolled your eyes when I just said JK Rowling so lets just get this one thing out of the way...

Yes I'm obsessed. I think her face should be on Mt Rushmore with Lincoln. I think we should erect monuments to her in every library on the planet. If you believe in a God you should believe he/she/it put Jo Rowling on this planet to make the world a better place. I could go on for hours, days, YEARS about how perfect the Harry Potter series is. Yes, I do think the Potter series could cure cancer, end world hunger and facilitate peace in the middle east, and NO you can't change my mind about that. However that is not what this blog is about.

Authors are an interesting breed of people. They live in a world where they get to make up worlds. They live surrounded by people who aren't real, except in the case of biographers. I am fascinated by them, wishing I had the talent to do what they do. Well, most of them anyway. I was in Target a month or two ago and was looking through the book section when I came across two books that were a continuation of Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Some woman had gone to see the 2005 version of the movie, the one with Kierra Knightly, and fell in love with the story. She had never read the book or seen any of the tv/movie versions other than the one before and felt she needed to continue the story. I was intrigued. I received the books as a gift just a few weeks later. Oh my hell they are HORRIBLE! This woman has no idea what she is doing. She took one of the most beautiful love stories of all time and turned it into a harlequin romance novel. She has these people having sex every third page and on the two pages in between they talk about how and where they are going to have sex. She put no research into the life of a 19th century couple, doesn't use proper 19th century English, and don't get me started on social etiquette of the time. Horrific stories. What perplexes me is this...WHO decided to publish these books? Jo Rowling was turned down over 10 times for Potter when she first tried to publish it. Dan Brown was laughed at when trying to sell his first book. Clive Cussler was told no one would read his books. Hell even Stephen King was ridiculed. Not that these authors, with the exception of Rowling of course, is a literary god but they can write a good book! They have a story to tell. A well researched, well thought out story.

I understand that not everyone can be a literary great and just because you sell a lot of books doesn't make you great either (Hello Stephenie Meyer...are you listening?). I understand there are only so many Jane Austens, George Orwells or Earnest Hemingways. However if I, a literary novice at best, can tell the difference between a good book, great book and a straight out horrific book why can't someone whose job it is do the same? Authors are a dime a dozen, but the good ones, the ones who stick with you, are gold. I know, my opinion really doesn't mean much and I'm sure somebody somewhere likes the disgusting Darcy books, but its my blog so I get to say what I want to. And what I guess what I want to say is Go Read A Good Book!

College is closing in around me

I have a son who is a junior in high school. Now for any of you who have children of that age you know what that means. No, I'm not talking about girls...I'm talking college. College applications, college testing, college visits etc. Here is the problem, I have a son, whom every time you mention college, sighs groans pales in color and generally freaks out. He knows he is supposed to want to go, but he really doesn't. And its not because of leaving home or the work involved, its because he'll have to grow up. The first thing he always says to me is "But I don't know what I want to do!". Of course he doesn't, none of us did. Or we thought we did and then changed our minds a million times. So I was going to go with another tactic, the FUN of college! Then I though Oh Hell No! I can't hype up the fun of college or else he'll go thinking its a party and flunk out! Back I went to the "you have to go for your future", "you will love it once you get there", "you get to take classes that interest you" jargon. Not working so well. Now my friend Helen (Hi Helen!) has a son the same age. They live in England and there the kids start college at 16. So her son started this year and is loving it. The difference is that at the age of 16 no one expects you to live on your own. No one is shipping you off to a school far away and expecting you to make all your own decisions. When we ship our kids off at 18, we do expect them to act as adults. I know that won't be easy for my son.

Now I know what you're thinking. Its the same thing Hubby and I thought of, Community College. He can live at home and go to school. My question is, what does he learn by doing that? That his parents will still be around all the time and tell him what to do? It isn't the same level of responsibility (yes I know the education is still good, thats not my point) as when you go away to school. I'm sorry, but it isn't. There is something about going away, even if it is 10 miles down the road, and learning to sink or swim. Having freedom to stay up till 4am and dealing with the consequences the next day. I'm not going to let him act like our house is a dorm. So how do you rectify the two? Understanding that he is immature and will probably flunk out of school if I let him go or let him stay home and not learn to sink or swim?

Maturity comes with age but I also believe it comes with handling situations that arise. The two sides of parenting are fighting inside me and I can't seem to get them to agree on a compromise.

Give it a bit of time and look what happens...

My last blog, yes I know its been awhile, was all about what I need/want to do with my career and life. Amazing what happens when you give it a little time. After that blog I decided that while I was "deciding" what to do when I grew up I'd try to find a few more doula clients to tide me over. I put up a website and joined a local group. Those two decisions made the rest fall right into place. In the last two weeks I've gotten 3 more clients, have been booked to teach a private childbirth ed class, and been asked by a doctor for more of my cards so she can hand them out to her patients. Oh that silly little nymph called Fate just had to intervene didn't she. So this is what I'm doing. For now. In the immediate future. Or at least until May since that is when my newest client is due. I am, once again, Dayna the Doula and I'm pretty happy about it.

www.daynadoula.com

^ thats me!

To many options, not enough decisions

My family and I went out of town this weekend to a friends lake house. While we were sitting around chatting, Jeff (lake house owner/friend) asked me what my plans were. As in "Dayna when are you going to get a job and what kind of job will it be" kind of plans. I gave him the answer I've been giving everyone. I have no idea. As most of you know I quit my job of 10 years at the hospital in May. Lets just say it was time for me to move on. I knew I was going to take the summer off and hang out with my kiddos since it had been 10 years since I had been able to do that. It was the most enjoyable summer I've ever had. However, the kids are back in school and I suppose I should be looking into finding a new job. The problem is I have no interest in doing it, nor do I have a clue what that job should be.

Truly I have very little interest in going back to healthcare. I love the area of labor and delivery, love being a doula, but actually working in a hospital or medical setting has very little appeal to me right now. I have a hard time seeing hospital administrators as anything more than blood sucking, money grubbing whores. Call me crazy but I really don't think I could go into a new hospital with the right attitude. Also I want to work less, as in part time only. It has been made very obvious to me that having a person home more during the week benefits everyone. So the question becomes "What do I want to be now that I'm a grown up?" I am lucky in the fact that I'm not the main bread winner of the family. No really, I understand I'm lucky so please no tirades about how I should be kissing the ground my husband walks on. I GET IT I PROMISE! With that luck comes some freedom to choose what I want and that freedom is overwhelming me. School? Maybe. But only if I can get a history degree and teach high school kids about the Tudor Dynasty or work at The Tower in the summers as a guide. Jewelry? I miss selling jewelry but have no interest in working retail at the holiday season. Try something new? Ok...but what?

So basically what I've decided is nothing. I'm going to pull a Scarlet O'Hara and think about it tomorrow. Today I'm going to enjoy the fact that my house is cleaner than normal, the laundry and grocery shopping are done and I have time to blog about it.

ps....if you have an idea, feel free to shoot it at me. I'm taking all suggestions!

Are 15 or 60 my only choice?

So picture this. I'm standing in Macy's between two departments. The Juniors section to my left, the Misses section to my right. My head bouncing back and forth between the two just looking at my options. 15 or 60. Twilight the movie or your twilight years. What kind of options are those?

Now let me preface this with the fact that up until a few months ago I wouldn't have even been in these sections. Over the last year or so I've lost enough weight that I moved from the Plus Size dept to the top end of the other depts. I remember thinking how great it was going to be to be able to shop at regular stores with my friends. I thought I would finally be able to find "my style" and not have to limit it to what I could find at specialty stores. Oh how wrong I was.

So I return you to the scenario I started out with - Me, Macy's, and the clothing tennis match. I was horrified to discover that truly I still had the same options I had in my old sizes. Either dress like you're going back to school OR dress like you are going to Shady Pines Retirement Village. I was disappointed to discover that when you are in your late thirties early forties fashion is almost impossible to find. They write endless stories in my dearly loved Vogue magazine telling us how once you hit a certain age you can't possibly wear (insert huge list of no no's) and you should be only wearing (insert huge list of very expensive clothing). Well thanks for the list but I live in the real world with budgets and children. So what is a girl to do? I don't want t shirts with humorous sayings on them like the ones my daughter loves. (Although, I must admit, one of my favorite t shirts is black and says "I'm not the girl next door I'm the bitch down the street") I don't want jeans with elastic waist bands. I want clothes that are appropriate for my age and yet have some STYLE to them. I want a cute sweater that is super classy and fun that doesn't cost me Burberry prices. I want the color of Betsy Johnson without huge lips or cherries on everything. I am not a Ralph Lauren Yacht Club kinda girl and yet I'm not Hot Topic either.

I look around and see that lots of women my age are in the same boat. When people say "She dresses like a Mom" could that be due to the fact that she can't find anything within her budget that looks any better? Could it be that the Mom uniform comes from lack of free time to search for hours online for something that isn't a tshirt, sweatshirt or jeans? Is it any wonder women my age start to have a battle within themselves? Wrinkles and bad clothing--what fun!

So I'm on a quest to find the Holy Grail of shopping. The Mecca of fashion on a budget. The yellow brick road to style. And best of all, I promise to share what I find. Wish me luck!

A Little Giggle

I do believe most of you know that the last month of my life has been insane. The English were here, we all went to Jamaica for a week, after sending them home I went to Montana for my 20th class reunion and then immediately went on a 3 day girls trip with my rock soul sisters. It was an amazingly fun yet completely exhausting month that I would do again in a heartbeat.

In the above mentioned month I was able to span 26 years of friendship. From The English whom I've known for 6 years now, to my best friends from high school who I've known for over 20, I found a common thread among them all. They make me laugh my ass off. I'm telling you I haven't laughed that hard in so so long and it was fantastic! From all the inside jokes to the "Oh no you didn't" stories that I might not have wanted to be shared, it was rib breaking hilarity. At my class reunion it was like a day hadn't passed between the girls and myself. We walked right back into 1990 and were happy to be there. The English and their "Fauncey" take on so many things. Then the girls trip which I'm positive has Joan Jett running scared from us. All of it was hysterical!

I started thinking about it after I got home from my month of crazy. THIS is what I love about my friends. THIS is what draws me to them. THIS=humor. We all need different things from our friends. Mine just happens to be laughter. I can't think of one person whom I consider a close friend who isn't really really funny and I love them for it. I do know I could go to any of them if I needed a serious shoulder to cry on, and sometimes do, but the fact that we make each other laugh is the basis of most of my friendships. I wouldn't have it any other way.

So thank you to my crazy, nutty, amusing, joking, side-splitting, merry, ADORED friends. You bring laughter to my life every day.

Birthdays and drivers licenses

Sorry for the long break between blogs. I've been on vacation in Jamaica. Yeah, I know. I'm a lucky girl. :-)

Today is a important day in our house. Today my son is going to the DMV and getting his drivers license. It also happens to be the day I head back to Montana for my 20 yr class reunion. I would like to thank the scheduling Gods for giving me this "damn you're old" double whammy. I mean seriously, like turning 38 wasn't enough to make me take a look in the mirror and wonder where time has gone, but I get to say I have a teenage driver AND I've been out of high school for 20 years. Are you freakin' kidding me? Now some of this I did to myself. I know lots friends who are just having children now so the fact I had them in my early 20's (hence them being teens now) was a decision I made so really it shouldn't really have anything to do with feeling old. But it does. And its not that I feel "old", just middle aged, which I am so its appropriate I guess. I just don't like it. Who would?

I got a card for my birthday that said something to the effect of "don't look at the number, look at the accomplishments". I'm trying....

The English Invasion

They're coming.

I met my friends Vince and Helen about 5 years ago through the internet. Although they live in England, Vince and Helen were friends with a few other people I knew at the time and then we started chatting via instant messaging. Over the years, my husband and I have developed a very close friendship with both Vince and Helen. In 2006, I flew to England, for the first time I might mention, by myself to spend a week with them and then last year Paul and I both went over for two weeks. Vince and Helen came to the States in 2008 and now, will be here again in a few hours. This time they are bringing their son Mike and our other good friend from England, Dave. We are spending time here in KC and a week in Jamaica. It will be a fantastic vacation!

As I was thinking about their visit and trying to plan things to do I started to realize how lucky we are. I remember when I was a kid how cool I thought it was to meet anyone who wasn't from Montana, hell anyone who lived in a different town than I did. They were "different" and I loved that. I didn't know anyone who knew people from out of the country with maybe a few exceptions to Canada because we lived just a few hours from the border. I feel like we are lucky because many people become adults with still never knowing anyone from a different culture. Now I realize England isn't a far off nation that is SO different from ours. They are very similar and yet very different from us here in the States. Yet I see how excited the kids friends are when we tell them we have visitors from England coming because its still such a novelty to know someone from outside the USA. I think we are so lucky to not only have found these wonderful friends, but also to be able to expose the kids to a different part of the world.

We are going to England in 2012 for Hayden's graduation present and my -gulp- 40th birthday. It will be so fantastic for the kids to see England and other parts of world but mostly it will be great to spend such important celebrations with some of my favorite people. We are lucky indeed.

400 Years In The Making

I have mentioned to many of you that I have been working on my genealogy. I have found lots of interesting facts and non facts, and a few surprises, but what I have found mostly is comfort. It is somewhat comforting to find out who you are and where you come from. My family has its few dark spots, skeletons in its closets, things that don't add up, as do all families, but in general I have a wonderful road map of where my family comes from and who we are. It was the where I'm from that really gave me the biggest surprise of all. I always knew I was Irish and English. I have a great x3 grandfather that came over from Cavan County Ireland in 1850, another great gram and gramp from Ireland who came over in 1870 and a great x2 grandfather who was born in England. But what surprised me the most is not my European ancestry, it was my American ancestry.

As kids we are often asked "What are you" with an expected answer of something like "I'm 1/2 Irish, 1/2 English" for an answer. No one ever says "I'm 1/2 Irish, 1/2 American". We don't usually think of American as part of the answer because its not exotic enough. Well come to find out, my answer as a child should have been 1/2 American, 1/4 Irish, 1/4 English. Let me introduce you to a few people.

John Vause, born in Virginia in 1595. He is a great grandfather a million times over on my paternal grandmothers side. All we know about his family is that his mother was English.

Jane Morgan, born in New York, 1628. Her father was from Wales as was the man she married, Thomas Ragland.

Henry Tandy, born in Viriginia in 1630

John Quarles, 1665 Virginia

Prisilla Watson, 1669 Virginia

The list goes on and on, and that is just my paternal side. The same thing happens on the maternal great grandfathers side. I have to say I was overwhelmed. I loved being able to find that I had a Sheriff of Nottingham in my ancestry but just as thrilled to find that I had a distant cousin that was involved in the underground railroad. My American information excited me beyond belief because I realized I had a huge stake in THIS country. My family belonged here and had been her for over 400 years.

Now I'm the first to admit I not a huge patriot of this country. I don't get all "yee haw" over the military and am definitely not a gal who sings Lee Greenwood songs on the 4th of July. I have respect for all things American, but you won't see an American flag in the back window of my car. It is my opinion that we, as Americans, have a general arrogance that is overwhelming to the rest of the world and I don't like to add to that. However since discovering my history I do take a bit more pride in the history of our country. I am proud to know that my ancestors were a part of what this country is and what it has become.

So with all that being said I would like to wish everyone a very Happy Independence Day and say thank you to our military, including the 14 men in my family who fought in the Revolutionary War, who have helped keep us an independent nation.

The Pampered Life of Cinema Suites

The main thought behind this blog has very little to do with the title, however if you've never taken the time or money to go see a movie at the Cinema Suites in the AMC 30 you really should do yourself a favor and go. Suck up the price and enjoy it. Huge cushioned reclining seats, full bar, full pub food menu and, the best part in my opinion, NO KIDS! You must be 21 to go. Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy taking my kids to a movie. I loved hearing all the little ones gasp and giggle at Buzz Lightyear. But if I am going to see a movie without my children, I would rather not have to listen to my neighbors 3 1/2 yr old talk, cry and throw a fit because he is bored out of his brain in a movie he doesn't belong in. Oh and PS....your 18 month old doesn't belong in a movie theatre. They don't get it, they don't appreciate it, and they don't have the attention span for it so they will cry and throw fits that annoy the rest of us. Period. End of discussion. Anyway, Cinema Suites rule.

My real reason for this blog is to discuss Twilight. Now before you click the back button on your computer, hear me out. No I am not a Twilighter, Twihard, Twimom, Tweek, whatever the hell they call over zealous insane Twilight fans, nor am I here to bash those people. I get it, tweens love the insane romance of a 18yr old girl and a vampire. Moms love the "depth" of their relationship...blah blah blah. Whatever. I read the books, liked the first one and have seen all the movies. What shocks me is the obsession level that adult women have gone to with these books/movies. Now yeah, my girlfriends and I went to see the new movie last night. We enjoyed it as much as you can enjoy tween/teen movie with half naked boy toys and Kristen Stewart in it. Sidenote: I will someday post a blog as to the reasons of my absolute distain and hatred of Kristen Stewart's acting. There are however this very large group of women, ages 20-70, who are OBSESSED with Twilight. To the point of wondering if they go to Forks WA, yes there really is such a place, they might find their own Edward or Jacob. Example. I read a story online about this woman in her mid 40's who quit her job and sold her house so she could "fully explore the Twilight life". The Twilight life?? WTF? To her that meant going to Washington, searching through Forks and the indian reservation. Going to Italy to try to find the Volturi. Picking the books apart to find every little hint of WHERE they might be. Yes you read that right, WHERE they are. This woman truly thinks Stephanie Meyer is giving hints to where these people are because they are real. Of course the woman obviously has mental issues but that is the tip of the ice berg. There are examples everywhere. The Twilight Book Club for women over 50 in South Carolina who get together once a week to discuss parts of the books. Ladies, there are only 4 books and they really weren't that good or so deep they need to be dissected weekly. Or the lady I saw in line at the grocery store who was about 30 decked out in her Team Jacob t-shirt, Twilight handbag and was discussing the newest movie with the maybe 17 yr old check out girl. I personally know a woman who left her 10 yr anniversary dinner with her husband early so she could get in line for the midnight showing of the newest movie. Realy? Really really?

Now before a few of you get your panties in a wad and start throwing my Potter obsession in my face I want you to understand my point. I get being a fan of something. I understand that we all need a distraction from our everyday lives. I love to be so involved in a new book that you can't wait to read the next words on the next page. Remember I am the girl who locked herself in her bedroom the morning the new Potter books were delivered and didn't speak to anyone or come out till I was done with the whole book. I GET IT. What bothers me is this. These people invest so much time and energy into a fantasy world and not their real world. Edward, Jacob, Bella...they aren't real and have no impact on your life, or at least they shouldn't. But I am betting that if you asked that woman in line at the grocery store to name all the members of the Volturi she could, but ask that same woman who General MacChrystal is and why he was recently fired from his job? Yeah you see where I'm going with this.

I don't know, maybe its just me being high and mighty but seriously people look around at the real world and get involved. When an involvement in a fantasy world starts to replace your involvement in the real world something needs to change. I know this happens in other things besides Twilight and not all people who like Twilight are social morons who don't know anything about the rest of the world but seriously folks, read a newspaper. Look around and know there is more good vs evil or love and romance in the real world than there ever will be in a book.

Sorry about going on and on about this, but hell it is my blog so I can do what I want. :-)

Go Team Jane!

Naps

I do believe that naps are wasted on the young. Since I have been not working, I've discovered that I love naps. Naps rule. I find myself getting tired about the same time every day and laying down for about an hour. However, I feel like such a slacker when I wake up. I mean come on, I'm not 70 yrs old for heavens sake, so falling asleep in a chair seems a bit ridiculous. So the question is, how do you reconcile the want to sleep with the guilt of sleep? I just need to get back to a regular sleeping schedule, stop staying up late, stop sleeping in and start sleeping like I work.

That doesn't sound fun at all.

Damn you Pixar

So after dinner tonight, Paul and I take the kids to see Toy Story 3-the non 3D version. Why the non 3D version? I'll give you that answer my friend next Saturday along with Mr Vernon's answer about Barry Manilow. Anyway- As we watching the movie, which was very good, I got sadder and sadder. Depression came over me like a large blanket and all I wanted to do was dive head first into my box of goobers. Holy shit, Andy is going to college. ANDY IS GOING TO COLLEGE!?!

Ok ok, let me explain. My son Hayden was 2, not quite 3 when the first movie came out. Andy, the main character, was 6. Are ya doing the math yet?? Pixar did mess up a bit and didn't quite age Andy exactly as they should have but Andy is 17. Hayden is 16. I sat there in the dark theatre and realized Hayd didn't have any of his toys left. They are all gone. All donated, thrown away or given to new families. Hayden (who looked creepily like Andy and could Molly the younger sister look any more like my Libbey? I've decided Pixar is stalking my family) has also moved on and is in his last two years of school before going off to college. I always kind of looked forward to them going to college, being independent, having some freedom, but I don't think I had truly wrapped my brain around it. Wow. Andy is going to college and it makes me really sad.

And on another note (Warning: Spoiler) why the hell didn't they have that little girl at the end be the new owner of Bo Peep? I mean how sad was Woody when he talked about her in the beginning? It would have been nice for her to have popped up in the new house. Bummed me out.

Poor Woody. Poor Andy's Mom. Poor Hayden's Mom. We'll all be sad together I guess.

The lost years

Clover and I went to see my friend Kryztof's band play last night in a small venue downtown. Clover, for those of you who don't know, is one of my dearest friends who I spend a lot of time with. You may hear about her often. Maybe I should ask her if that is ok. :-/ Anyway as we are listening to the band, who is fantastic, we were also people watching. People watching is one of our favorite past times. She made a comment something to the effect of "I hate Twentysomethings". I laughed being as I've said that exact same thing numerous times myself, and asked her why. The long and short of her explanation was something I've been complaining about quite a bit over the last few years. They are clueless.

There is something about the people between the ages of 20-25 right now that irritates me. They seem lost, confused, non focused, completely dependent on their parents, have no drive, and then are also arrogant on top of it all. Arrogant! How the hell can you be so lost and arrogant at the same time. However I can't decide if my issue with them is the fact that they all seem to have this obnoxious sense of entitlement and mooch off their parents or if my issue is that I'm getting to old to understand them. Maybe a mix of both? I don't want to be that person who says "those damn kids" but I find myself thinking it more and more often. Teenagers don't bother me. I get teenagers. They are hormone filled rebels who are just trying to figure out who they are. It is only when someone is out of high school and should be looking toward the working for their future and instead are looking at the world and ask for their future on a silver platter that I get irritated.

So as a culture, we look at these child-like adults and market our whole world around them. And yet these same people are sucking the life out of their parents and the rest of us by being sloths.

I've decided it should be mandatory for all people to do 2 years of manual labor prior to going to college. Then lets see how many decide that school is "just to hard".

The Flippant Perfectionist

For those of you who know me, the title of my blog fits me perfectly. For those of you who don't, you'll figure it out. I'm a perfectionist on some things, outrageously casual about others. I'm a person with many opinions who is open minded enough to listen to yours. A married mother of two teenagers who loves her family more than life itself and yet feels I can be a better parent by getting away from them every once in a while. My interests are wide and varied. Here's to hoping you care enough to read about them.

However, the main point of my blog will be something I've been slightly afraid of for a long time. In one month and one day I'll be 38 years old. 38. Two years from 40. 24 months before "The Big One". 104 weeks of an emotional rollercoaster that I'll ride right into middle age. I get heavy in the chest and bile in the back of my throat just thinking about it. Who ever said that 40 is the new 30 lied.