College is closing in around me

I have a son who is a junior in high school. Now for any of you who have children of that age you know what that means. No, I'm not talking about girls...I'm talking college. College applications, college testing, college visits etc. Here is the problem, I have a son, whom every time you mention college, sighs groans pales in color and generally freaks out. He knows he is supposed to want to go, but he really doesn't. And its not because of leaving home or the work involved, its because he'll have to grow up. The first thing he always says to me is "But I don't know what I want to do!". Of course he doesn't, none of us did. Or we thought we did and then changed our minds a million times. So I was going to go with another tactic, the FUN of college! Then I though Oh Hell No! I can't hype up the fun of college or else he'll go thinking its a party and flunk out! Back I went to the "you have to go for your future", "you will love it once you get there", "you get to take classes that interest you" jargon. Not working so well. Now my friend Helen (Hi Helen!) has a son the same age. They live in England and there the kids start college at 16. So her son started this year and is loving it. The difference is that at the age of 16 no one expects you to live on your own. No one is shipping you off to a school far away and expecting you to make all your own decisions. When we ship our kids off at 18, we do expect them to act as adults. I know that won't be easy for my son.

Now I know what you're thinking. Its the same thing Hubby and I thought of, Community College. He can live at home and go to school. My question is, what does he learn by doing that? That his parents will still be around all the time and tell him what to do? It isn't the same level of responsibility (yes I know the education is still good, thats not my point) as when you go away to school. I'm sorry, but it isn't. There is something about going away, even if it is 10 miles down the road, and learning to sink or swim. Having freedom to stay up till 4am and dealing with the consequences the next day. I'm not going to let him act like our house is a dorm. So how do you rectify the two? Understanding that he is immature and will probably flunk out of school if I let him go or let him stay home and not learn to sink or swim?

Maturity comes with age but I also believe it comes with handling situations that arise. The two sides of parenting are fighting inside me and I can't seem to get them to agree on a compromise.

Give it a bit of time and look what happens...

My last blog, yes I know its been awhile, was all about what I need/want to do with my career and life. Amazing what happens when you give it a little time. After that blog I decided that while I was "deciding" what to do when I grew up I'd try to find a few more doula clients to tide me over. I put up a website and joined a local group. Those two decisions made the rest fall right into place. In the last two weeks I've gotten 3 more clients, have been booked to teach a private childbirth ed class, and been asked by a doctor for more of my cards so she can hand them out to her patients. Oh that silly little nymph called Fate just had to intervene didn't she. So this is what I'm doing. For now. In the immediate future. Or at least until May since that is when my newest client is due. I am, once again, Dayna the Doula and I'm pretty happy about it.

www.daynadoula.com

^ thats me!